I Have a Problem. My Drug: Driving

POSTED BY J.F. Musial, 23 September 2007

My name is J.F. Musial, and I have a problem. My drug of choice: Driving.

This past weekend, I needed a break from city life. Living in New York tends to get a bit, overwhelming. Its fairly easy to get lost in the huge city, forgetting what it means to have your 'own space'. New York City is a place where you can survive without ever setting foot into any form of car. I don't like that. To me, having a car is one of the few remaining ways to explore the world. It's by far the easiest and cheapest way to do it too.

I needed to get away from all the things that needed my attention. My answer to all my problems: my car. I got in it, turned off my cell phone, threw a case of Vitamin Water in the back seat, and drove. My destination: North. Why? Because just a few months ago I drove south and ended up in South Beach. I'm sick.

This past year alone I've driven further then most will in a lifetime. January started off with my said trip to Miami. It was cold in New York and I really wanted to take a swim in the ocean. I called two friends up, the next day we drove the 18 hours and 25mins to Ocean Drive. I got out of the car, walked to the beach, then realized I forgot any form of bathing suit or shorts. Then it dawned on me that I don't even own a pair of shorts because I am a just that type of guy. After resolving that problem, we relaxed for a day, had our fun, and drove home.

May came and a friend told me he was moving out to San Francisco to take a new job. Being that he was living out there, he needed his car. Who wouldn't take this opportunity to drive cross country? It took us 39 hours, I saw the Bonneville Salt Flats, I didn't see a single trooper for the last 900 miles, and after spending 21 hours in San Fran, I flew home.

In July, I woke up one random Saturday morning and felt the urge to just go for a drive. I ended up in Cleveland. What the hell is wrong with me?

I set my keys down for the remainder of the summer. Working two jobs while also working on various projects with friends, I found no time to just get up and go. Then came this past weekend. You see, for the past two months I have been so stressed out and overworked that I forgot what it means to be "me". Something is wrong with me; if I don't drive a good distance, even after just a few weeks, I tend to fall apart.

So this weekend, I drove North. I knew I was going to see some old friends in the Boston area, but I really had no clue what else I would do with my time. After visiting my friends, I just drove. I ended up at in Kennebunkport Maine. Last time I visited this beautiful coastal village was when I was a little kid. The only thing I remember of the place was a very beautiful church on the side of a cliff overlooking the ocean. After wondering around the village for some time, I actually found the same coastal road I was on as a kid some 15 years ago. I even found the same church that somehow remained in my memory.

I must have spent a wopping 45mins in the small town before deciding it was time to head home and drive some more. Leaving the beautiful coastline, I had an amazing feeling come over me. I looked in the rearview mirror: it was a smile. At that very second, I remembered exactly why I drive so much. I love to explore, I love to see as much as I can. I felt free. In today's society, it becomes difficult to really have these feelings of freedom. For each person, that freedom comes in the form of some type of creativity. Poetry, drawing, writing, or even... driving. I don't know how I do it; my body is always a mess whenever I finish these long drives. It takes a lot out of you both physically and mentally. I never take a map; that seems to be much of the challenge. At most, I just write a few notes on my hand to remind myself where I have to go. (Take my trip to San Francisco for example)

It is important to remember that the reason we do the things that we do is because it makes us feel good. What's the point of going to work everyday if you don't enjoy what you accomplish? I love to drive. I don't think it is possible to make money doing what I do, but I don't care. I'm going to figure out a way to continue doing it no matter what it takes. Or maybe I should just buy an unreliable car and realize that it totally is not worth it. For some reason my A4 just won't die.